Rural Response

The farming community, however, has not been swayed by the linguistic gymnastics.

“They can call my John Deere a unicycle for all I care,” said Padraig “The Bull” Murphy, a farmer from West Cork who hasn’t seen his own feet since 1994. “Until the price of diesel drops below the price of a pint of Smithwick’s, I’m not moving. My tractor has been idling outside the GPO for three days, and it’s currently the most reliable public transport system in Dublin.”

Mr. Murphy also expressed concerns about the Mercosur deal, which critics say will flood the market with cheap Brazilian beef. “They want us to compete with the Amazon Rainforest? I can barely compete with the Aldi ‘Specially Selected’ range, and that’s mostly made of hope and packaging.”